Funny dating newspaper ads

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Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. I will clean for you at home or work or w here ever ?

Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... I scrub floors, vacum clean bathrooms and kitchens and yes I do windows. "Hey, what's all this crusty gunk clogging up the hose...?

They can play on double meanings, mock somebody or something, distort reality or showcase things from a different perspective with the aim to impress us and stick the message into our minds.

What you will see in this post are some of the clever and funny print ads that we liked the most.

Don't call 565-0747, as the telephone has been disconnected.

Until yesterday she was my housekeeper, but she quit.

They say that top comedians have a team of researches scouring newspaper headlines for amusing material to incorporate in their jokes and one-liners. I am married to a Malaysian lady, and people often ask me if she was a mail-order bride. The Royal Mail lose around two million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. Ironing Buddies My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing board cover as her.

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There's the classic newspaper classified, Craigslist, and of course, mowing a message into your lawn for potential lovers in the sky. You bring the salsa.""Mongoloid spastic underwear model with extra limb (you guess where? Marry me.""Sanctimonious mordacious raconteur seeking same for hijinks and hiballs. It's serious for sure but I'm not.""Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. Morbidly overweight, seriously competitive computer gamer with creative genius wrt online persona... Anyway, I gotta go take a shit, so I'll just wait for you ladies to respond. Send photo of someone else.""Three toed mango peeler searching for wicked lesbian infielder. Let's make banana enchiladas together in my bathtub. No mimes.""Bitter, unsuccessful middle aged loser wallowing in an unending sea of inert, drooping loneliness looking for 24 year old needy leech-like hanger-on to abuse with dull stories, tired sex and Herb Alpert albums. Must enjoy open-air activities and prefer spending time alone as a couple. ) and lets rumble on to the log slide of love to ride the ol skin boat to tuna town. Best ad I've seen today (by a man):"I love to clean, I know it sounds unusual but the reason I like to clean is I like to please. Disembodied head in jar, 24, seeks pixie goddess to fiddle with while Rome burns. Must wear size five shoes.""Small lumpy squid monkey seeks healthy woman with no identifying scars, any age. Recommend appreciation of high-pitched, screeching noises. Gentle, middle-aged teddy bear with unfortunate flatulence challenge seeking olfaction-impaired ourdoors girl for good times and possible matrimony. Onto the bike, Beeyotch, grab hold (you know where!

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